Three - Remember to keep holy
OK. There are .
Now I lean, I take the glasses I leave this house and know that ill air you breathe.
"Hello."
Shit! I said. Another attack from incontinence oral nonlodico, nonlodico, nonlodico, here I told you.
She looks at me. I look at him.
It is in these moments that the level of my expectations are rising alarmingly.
say that when you're dying to review all your life, well, me, in these moments, I project the film of what I would like to see happen, is a succession of:
now gets up and kisses me and tells me that can not live without me, now I
or holds out his hand and pulled me close to him and make love, or even
if I wait two seconds to tell me more so far has done everything wrong and realized that the woman of his life.
Stop. Real life. Good
the first, unfortunately.
Not at all. He `
them, silent, looking into the eyes of" do not know what to do and if I did not know where to start "and" with the dick that you do 'win', mixed with his face in a mixture of sadness and hardness.
I want to slap half and half crying.
I do not know what I do, but should not be that great 'if he is not willing to drop everything and fill it with kisses.
The fact is that usually, when trying to have a strong face, a look deep, magnetizing expression, well, that is the time that you face is a crazy fool, I know, I tried it in the mirror, so I try to relax your muscles and have a normal face, as those which "you move."
And all this in a spit second when he did not even tell me good morning.
Fuck you. According to film
expectations.
Here:
now I go out of the room and he says or does something to keep me or
rushes out of bed and I apologize
or even picks up the phone and are just outside the door called me and asked me to back.
Stop. Real life.
Fuck: right first time too.
now I'm out. Another expectation
sweetened dressed in the guise of hope to go fuck yourself. Lucky you. At least broom.
But I collect pieces of projects and dreams and desires a little bit chipped, sometimes chewed at the corners, then I put them all together in a bag and in the evening at home alone, I do puzzles. All times are out of new designs, or at least that `it seems, but the tiles are always the same, more and more worn, less glossy.
I know I should stop wondering who makes me do, not the answers I had months ago and I have now, even if now is more serious. Months ago if there was I missed, almost physical, morbid, as if the air we breathe become suddenly half, or less good, every moment spent away from him asking what he was doing and imagine what we could do if we were together.
Not now. Now when there is no live equal. Survive.
and survives even in high humidity.
It is as if, at some point, my life was, and peak level of suffering and happiness were killed to obtain a more elegant and composed of moderate views being confused, mixed - and no more alternate - suffused with a sense of pain.
It is a bittersweet pain, paradoxically, the kind that make you company with which you learn to live so that when there are more almost there you miss, from nostalgic song in a minor or sentimental film with a happy ending but not too much to tear, not a scream of wounded animal, to "write a poem," not "kill me".
It is a pain that you fuck, you do not want to rip off his back, because `the bear at the bottom, but munch you every day and you do not even you know it, you still stuck on him and mixed with your scent to the point that everyone you meet is able to hear it, `and so, while you hope that something good comes suddenly to change your life, you do not realize that the smell, the smell of flowers and a little bit sad withered, `distant land of beautiful things `as long as you do not scroll off.
'm almost at the office.
My phone has not rang.
No gifts for me today, nor is the life, nor is he.
Happy Valentine's Day to me.
0 comments:
Post a Comment