Seven - Do not steal
This morning I woke up licking away a tear that had decided to sail the face independently.
It `because` I was not at all sad.
I happen regularly I would say, to wake up with a mood, a mood with well-defined, usually with no shades of gray or distressed, almost depressed, or elated.
heaven or hell in short, that everyone knows that purgatory does not exist, as between seasons.
This morning I woke up rather strangely serene, in a kind of limbo moody, except that tear indiscreet.
It's a strange feeling when it happens: you get this wet path that makes its way onto the skin of your face and you put a little bit to realize you're crying.
No, you can even say that you cry at this time: crying is features contracts, throat choking, his fists clenched, but this is only water from his eyes.
So this morning I was not sad, nor is angry, nor is much less bitter or angry. I
. Simply. It is not easy.
For someone like me used to analyze, to study, understand, define, dissect, the time being and just never comes. I
asked several times what would be my definition of happiness, not universal ones that can adapt, without giving me answers.
Valid for me at least, the people does not take much, really. Perhaps even more important to them are questions that do not listen to the answers.
I think for me the happiness and the absence of thought: those rare segments in which space-time. When I made only of skin and nerve endings and emotions and goose bumps and hairs standing on the shivers down my spine, or a sincere smile and unexpected, warm or clot in the stomach, fireworks Facu traitors cheeks or even warm liquid that flows from the throat to the legs or vice versa, and then accelerated and uneven beats.
Here, in these moments are, and maybe I'm happy.
As when, soon after arriving in office, I is a text message appeared on the phone: "I remembered that I had to send kisses to you some time." As I read it is a flowery smile and started from within, even of those who hand over his mouth because they can hide from the eyes overflowing 'so that light from every pore of pleasure that curls and becomes more luminous .
Perhaps what I miss, those gaps which I feel the constant presence, net, is just that: the unexpected, the unexpected, surprise not give me time to think and let me be.
to ask so I understand: more excitement and sudden unexpected joys in years, in an established relationship with its laws and its good legs drawn on the floor, as in dance classes.
But I can not resign, I do not understand where is was and how it happened that I have removed from under the noses of the packages that were under the tree.
I will not stop believing in Santa Claus, Prince Charming already left me a widow premature.
words I still soft to pet, and regal presence and absence unintended, but inevitable, with an option of nostalgia to suck together, I still want to kiss and caress the buttons in the stomach in the temples.
do not think there is blame or responsibility, but I will not even believe that `it is so normal that it should be like.
As I walked home in the car I turned on the radio, something I never do that lately, not to disturb my thoughts.
"... that 's no tomorrow
today remains today or tomorrow might tend to' infinite
and I would not because when you're alone and the rest
with my thoughts and I ... "There was
Guccini. Our song.
not a song at random, which would have been even better the rosary on Radio Maria, no, our song.
lyrics.
` Yes, 'because of our songs there are as many were moments to remember, but this is special, she was in tears when the background is a blunt "I love you", when only a single special moment I have thought and felt, without questions and no answers, that the first had vanished and the latter unnecessary.
Maybe I can take back what I is stolen, you only have to understand where it may the plunder, the thief does not count.
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